How to be a “Good Enough” mom

The truth is a perfect mom does not exist. Yet, so many mothers constantly strive for perfection. A perfect clean home, perfectly well-behaved children, perfect cooking, a perfectly balanced work and home-life. As a therapist for the past 8 years, I have met with countless moms who are unhappy because they are comparing themselves to other moms and view themselves.

A constant struggle for moms is how to appear to be well-balanced in juggling all of these roles. Why is it that we feel like we need to be dressed a certain way or to be both a career woman, yet chauffeur for all of the kids’ practices and games? It feels impossible, and yet we keep striving for this and fail.

When I start looking toward others to find my value and worth, that’s when I know I’ll never find it. And this is the problem. We want to be viewed as a “good mom” because it will give us value, worth and purpose. Yet, we will never find our worth in this role. Being a mother is a wonderful purpose, but it’s not our only purpose. When we start putting all of our value and purpose on this one identity, we falter. We are not going to be a perfect mom. NO ONE CAN BE.

What are we afraid of it we fail at perfection? What will happen if we make those mistakes and admit to everyone we are human?

A “good enough” mom strives to love her kids well, find balance for work and self-care and relationships. But there are times, where we yell at our kids or forget the soccer game or do not have time to switch out fall clothes to winter clothes on the first below freezing day. It’s in these moments of failure that we have an opportunity for growth. A chance to demonstrate to our children how we get up again and strive for better.

If you are struggling with getting over this mindset of being a "perfect mom”, I encourage you to get support. Connect with your friends. Connect with a coach or therapist. I’m constantly working on my own mindset of accepting “good enough”.

You are good enough, Mama.